I’m going to tear my uterus out

rect:

estpolis:

if you have a vagina and dont refer to it as a womb as often as you can i feel like youre missing a real opportunity

id like to nickname this post, “cis man does not actually know what a womb is”

(via infamousnfamous)

Tags: lmaooo

infamousnfamous:

frog-and-toad-are-friends:

catbountry:

weeaboo-chan:

history1970s:

jackanthonyfernandez:

emes:

radioheadofficial:

liftingdrifter:

BOW DOWN TO THE LOBSTER LIFTING QUEEN
idk about yesterday’s total. Maybe like $150 with the 5 pairs of earrings?
Yeah I lifted a vibe from spencers too. A label on the side said there was a security device enclosed. That was a lie.

what the FUCK this bitch stole LOBSTERS that’s some real next level shit

loling about
1. stealing lobsters
2. making stealing lobsters part of your personal brand

I love everything about this

how the fuck do u steal a lobster let alone 2 im so done omfg

SHOPLIFTING TUMBLR IS FUCKING WILD

Wow.

Have fun when those lobsters die and start stinking up your house, because you just “stole” some living things that you presumably didn’t have the resources to actually care for so you could brag about it as part of your dumbass online baby-punk blogging brand you stupid FUCKING ASSHOLE

you do realize live lobsters are sold as food and this was prob her dinner that night……right?

infamousnfamous:

frog-and-toad-are-friends:

catbountry:

weeaboo-chan:

history1970s:

jackanthonyfernandez:

emes:

radioheadofficial:

liftingdrifter:

BOW DOWN TO THE LOBSTER LIFTING QUEEN

idk about yesterday’s total. Maybe like $150 with the 5 pairs of earrings?

Yeah I lifted a vibe from spencers too. A label on the side said there was a security device enclosed. That was a lie.

what the FUCK this bitch stole LOBSTERS that’s some real next level shit

loling about

1. stealing lobsters

2. making stealing lobsters part of your personal brand

I love everything about this

how the fuck do u steal a lobster let alone 2 im so done omfg

SHOPLIFTING TUMBLR IS FUCKING WILD

Wow.

Have fun when those lobsters die and start stinking up your house, because you just “stole” some living things that you presumably didn’t have the resources to actually care for so you could brag about it as part of your dumbass online baby-punk blogging brand you stupid FUCKING ASSHOLE

you do realize live lobsters are sold as food and this was prob her dinner that night……right?

Anonymous said: omg if baby oil dissolves condoms what the fuck does it do to babies???

the-kellin-under-the-vic:

This may be shocking, but babies and condoms are made of different material

If you had to suggest a tattoo for me based on what you know of me from my blog, what would it be?

(Source: stut--ter, via wingedbeastie)

My grandmother gave me Chinese food and I’m so pumped

screamingintovaginas:

Honestly though in Middle Earth everything is secretly an ancient weapon

That bar holding up the baskets? Ancient weapon. That wheel? It’s secretly comprised of ancient daggers. That piece of fruit that you’re eating? It’s a fucking Elvish mini-dagger, forged in fires long since cold

screamingintovaginas:

The thing I like about Middle Earth is that rare Elven blades are apparently everywhere

If you’re ever in a fight just scrabble in the dirt under some tree for a while and whoops, you got yourself a rare Elven blade

when ur mom comes home early and u gotta change back from ur shark form QUICK

bayharborbitcher:

grawly:

image

screamingintovaginas

I’m wicked drunk and high rn

Sometimes I just think about how much I love girls

Girls are so great

If I was a god, what kind of god would I be?

yarrayora:

Bonus point if you add some mythos about me

(via thatrharegoldeneagle)

314eater:

prevalere:

you know how in some movies the bride/groom calls off the wedding to be with the person they truly love and then they live happily ever after well it’s pretty shitty that the person they were getting married to doesn’t actually get a happy ending but no one seems to care about it to the point that he/she is not even mentioned afterwards as if that person didn’t exist or had feelings at all yeah just a thought

Lord farquaad will be okay

(Source: prevalere, via fantasticallyfilipino)

lordofthewincest:

skeletons have become a meme and that means there is a meme inside you, with you at all times.

(via entitledlesbian)